If you're wondering where Chappers is, well, don't be sad but, he's gone. He's gone to the toilet and never come back (or gone off to be a serious sports journalist, whatever you prefer).

"Chappers does Match of the Day 2, so I guess if you're looking at it logically, then he would have to have a real live chance of coming over to the Saturday, or doing both [shows]," Shearer told ...